Can you trust me? Can you trust me that as your pastor I am sexually pure? Can you look at Annie with confidence that she can have confidence in me and my purity?
I think I have everyone’s attention now. As uncomfortable and as striking as the question may be, it is a question that should be asked. It should be asked of me, and of everyone one of us. Can you be trusted?
I confess the topic of sexual purity this morning is coming up not because of anything in this church, but rather in THE Church. It has come to light that yet another famous and major evangelical preacher has been unfaithful in their marriage.
- A little over a week ago the well known and supremely respected Steve Lawson was dismissed from his pastoral position upon the discovery of an “inappropriate relationship.” It has sent shockwaves through the Evangelical community as Lawson has been involved in the most esteemed Evangelical ministries and had a vast and huge impact on so many. Pray for his repentance, for the discipline process happening, for his wife and marriage, his church and the name of Jesus Christ.
- But Lawson is not the only one in our Evangelical camp who we have seen fall. In the last few years, Tony Evans, the famous preacher also out of Dallas whom I would listen to every day after becoming a Christian 20 years ago, stepped down after admitting – ambiguously – that he committed a sin a number of years ago.
- Carl Lentz, the former celebrity pastor for Hillsong and spiritual advisor to Justin Bieber, was dismissed a couple years ago from ministry due to multiple affairs
- Many of us benefited from Razi Zacharias’ powerful apologetics ministry and therefore were rocked to the core by the posthumous revelations about his immoralities
The list goes on: in 2022 Jerry Falwell Jr the former president of Liberty University; in 2006 the former head of the NEA Ted Haggard.
I say this not to stand on the graves of these guys’s ministries with a holier than them attitude. I bring it up because it seems each year brings a new and stunning fall from an influential evangelical leader. We start asking things like, “How could this happen?” and “Didn’t anyone know?” and “What other big names are hiding immorality?” and “Who can I trust?” …. A little closer to home we might logically ask, “Can I trust my pastor?”
After all, if you’re like me, you probably personally know of men in the ministry who’ve committed sexual sins of one kind or another and lost their ministries. Those, I believe are worse than big name scandals because they hit closer to home, with a minister people love and trust and know personally, it causes a more visceral anger and confusion.
My goal today is not to explore the details of all these examples I listed. My goal is not even to try and find “lessons” from them specifically. They are really only brought up to show that purity continues to be a prominent theme in the life of the Church today. Purity is a priority for the simple fact that purity is a top priority in Scripture.
- What does 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 say? “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and horrible, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”
- Or 1 Corinthians 6:18, 20, “Flee from sexual immorality. You were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
- Jesus famously said if you even look at a woman with lust you have already committed adultery with her in your heart (Mt 5)
The problem today is we judge on a curve: if I’m not as bad as the prevailing sin getting a lot of attention today then I’m good. The Overton Window is not how we guage our righteousness – meaning, just because the range of “acceptable” sexual behaviors today includes more than what the Bible says it doesn’t mean what the Bible says no longer reflects God’s will. Sleeping with your boyfriend is a sin, and it is a sin even if its “not a big deal” compared to drag shows for kids. I would argue that since we normalized lesser sexual sins in the past and a culture is always moving with momentum in a direction the sins that were normalized in the past opened the doors for worse sins to be normalized. That’s how every nation and culture God judged in history went. A little leaven worked through the whole batch.
Or, as someone told me awhile back, as we talked about purity, how the Bible informs men how to look at women, the importance of marriage and saving sex for marriage – they said “Well, don’t be too strict.” As a professing Christian they told me “That sounds like too many rules and can make people rebel.”
But God demands absolute purity. “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully on a young woman” Job 31 said. He goes on in that chapter to say some very disturbing things. Paul instructed something similar in 1 Timothy 5, “Treat younger women with absolute purity.”
When news like this happens it makes the topic even more important to address specifically for the upbuilding and strengthening of believers in their own purity.
So, my goals specifically today include things like: dirty thoughts are cleansed; better self control with our eyes, our hands, our internet activity; humility would replace pride; more frequent prayer that includes confession and petition for strength of holiness; sinful emotional attachments we’ve developed to be renounced, confessed and turned from; valuing and building better intimacy with our spouses; embracing, valuing and practicing purity if we’re single; cultivating a greater delight in God, in holiness and in purity; a ruthless subjugation of our temptations and denying of ourselves rather than indulging ourselves.
None of these will be helped by the culture we live in. This is not a day that helps Christians towards purity. The range of sexual immorality abounds -and like Romans 1 says, society “gives approval to those who practice” such things. There is the perversion of the LGBTQ cult being forced down everyone’s throat from required readings in school, drag shows for kids, corporations flying the pride flag – literally and metaphorically; schools supporting kids’ preferred pronouns and gender identity . But do not be so arrogant as to think that is the only sexual sin happening. Pornography is sin and it is an epidemic, with ; the hook up culture is on a whole other level; dressing seductively and like prostitutes is normal for the biggest female celebrities; Only Fans turns any woman who wants into an instant porn star – actually I would say prostitute – as porn stars get paid for their sexual activity; then there is the ever more immodest clothing women wear, where their butt cheeks are hanging out of their shorts and the cleavage is displayed for all to see. According to a 2021 survey 20% of men and 13% of women have cheated on their spouses. There is even a website that facilitates spouses who want to cheat. The idea of marriage is decimated, not just by “same-sex” marriage. The Church has by and large permitted divorce for any reason for decades, cheapening the institution God made. Today such things as term marriage where you commit to marriage for x number of years and decide if you want to renew it when you reach the end of those years; or what they call “consensual non-monogamous relationships where both spouses consent to having outside sexual relationships; and if one doesn’t consent, then its called a tolyamorous marriage where one spouse tolerates but doesn’t approve the other spouse’s outside sexual relationships.
I could go on. But what I’m saying is the notion of a biblically based idea in our culture of one biological man and one biological woman in a ruthlessly exclusive covenant together before God for life has been fast fading.
Lets not think though that the Bible’s instructions on purity were given in a context of cultural purity. Things not *currently* accepted today were rampant back then, and everything today was practiced as well. We are actually on a track as a society to return to those days. A quote by Demosthenes, a little later than the Apostles, says: “Mistresses we keep for the sake of pleasure, concubines for the daily care of our bodies, but wives to bear us legitimate children and to be faithful guardians of our households” This was normal.
But not for the Church of Jesus Christ. Our Savior, who is our Lord, commands and demands nothing less than absolute purity. And the Christian who would serve Christ will find that they must be ruthless with their sinful nature.
PRACTICING PURITY
- Avoidance. Avoidance means avoiding situations and encounters that would put you in a more vulnerable position. Turn to Proverbs 7 with me.
Avoidance means not going on the internet at certain times and places. Avoidance means controlling your eyes and not letting them look. Avoidance means changing the company you keep if the people you surround yourself with can’t talk and act with purity. Avoid - You can say No. And you are commanded to. Sometimes people say, “I can’t stop. I can’t change.” In one sense, you’re right, No you can’t. But you’re also wrong because Yes, you can. You’re right in that YOU can’t change. YOU. In your flesh, apart from the Spirit and God’s grace, all on your own, absolutely you canNOT change. But as a Christian that is NOT your situation. You are indwelt by the Spirit of God, who created the world, who raised Christ from the dead – which is to say you have God and His power within you. That power is the source for rejecting temptation. You can say No. First Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And GOd is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” You CAN say No. “You can say No because of God’s grace, “The grace of God has appeared…it teaches us to say NO to ungodliness, worldly passions and to live self controlled, upright and godly lives…” Titus 2:11-12
- Take the Escape. First Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And GOd is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” Look for the out in every temptation. The young fool in Proverbs 7 could’ve gone down a different road. But even if that was a mistake, when she sat there seducing him he could’ve fled like Joseph and gotten out of there by going back, or, pressing past her and getting to his destination. But there was that moment when it says, “All at once he followed her…” The reality was, that young fool wanted to be tempted. He had escape after escape available to him and he ignored each one. .
- Prayer. Nothing in the Christian life – nothing – strengthens you like prayer. Andrew Murray wrote, “Prayer is the pulse of the spiritual life.” Do you have a pulse? I will not stop emphasizing prayer to you as your pastor. Prayer has the most potency for spiritual strength and walking with God. I will die on that hill. And
- Confess. This can be under prayer but I’m going to break it out so its its own point. If you confess your sin God is faithful and just to forgive you your sin and to cleans you of all unrighteousness.” Confess your sin. Confession is a type of prayer and since prayer is so lacking in the Church so is confession and therefore cleansing, strength and holiness are lacking. Confess your sins.
- Meditate. Meditation is closely related to prayer. Meditation is concentrating on a verse, or a passage. It’s not the New Age version of meditation practiced in Contemplative or Centering prayer – where you empty your mind entirely to “hear” from God. That is unbiblical and spiritually dangerous. But biblical meditation is excellent for mental discipline, which is necessary for purity. Meditation is imagining yourself obeying God’s commands. It shapes your view of God, it mentally draws you close to God because you’re thinking about Him so intently. Shut the door, turn your phone off. Start for short periods of time like 2 minutes and as you master it increase it to 5 minutes. The idea with Biblical meditation is blocking out all other thoughts and just thinking about a verse or passage in God’s word. So for instance, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified…” Your thoughts may go something like this: “God’s will is for me to be sanctified. His will should govern my life. He is my Lord. I am in submission to Him. He is perfect in holiness and perfect in goodness, so His will is to perfect me in holiness, for His glory, and for my greatest good. Purity is for my greatest good. I will be tempted to sexual immorality, but, temptation is not to rule me, God’s will is. Sexual immorality goes against my God, against His will, it is sin against Him. Anything that is against Him degrades me.”